Why You're A Terrible Customer

What do naked chicks, drunks, junkies, assholes and the homeless all have in common? Pizza. They all order pizza. Whether it's with food stamps or a duffel bag full of recyclables, they all find some way to pay for their pizza and ruin the night of those unfortunate enough to be stuck on the wrong end of the order taking counter. What does this have to do with music? Nothing. I simply wrote a book about my delivery driving experiences called 'Why You're A Terrible Customer' and it's conveniently being published today. The book is an angry/comedic take on the figurative raping I've received from a wide variety of customers. You see, the music industry is just about the worst paying gig out there, so I thought delivering pizza would be the perfect choice for a flexible yet reliable part-time job for some additional cash. And it was, but convenience came at a rather steep price seeing as it nearly cost me my sanity.

If you're curious about the content of the book; I touch on moderately racist topics such as who tips the most based on race and gender. I dive into what topless chicks, drug addicts and white supremacists have offered me for free food, and overall I just try to humorously describe the terribleness that is the life of a retail peon. 

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"Why You're A Terrible Customer: A Compilation of Customer Horror Stories By A Jaded Pizza Delivery Guy"